Back to the “New” normal
Now is the time for a change.
From today, all primary school children will go to school full days again.
No longer every other day or part of the day, but back to the “new” normal.
As a mother, you will also have a little more of your own life back.
And so it is again about the way it was, with some adjustments here and there.
But do you also remember how and what you felt during the “corona crisis”?
When you suddenly found yourself at home with your children, your work, and perhaps your partner.
Your freedoms both indoors and outdoors were limited.
You no longer had any distractions, and there was no more physical contact with your social environment.
You were literally stopped for a moment.
Do you remember what and how you felt then?
The things in your life that you would like to do differently?
Now is the time! Time to take steps.
During that period I spoke to women who said: “After this period I am really going to do things differently?”
- I want more time for myself.
- I no longer want to experience the stress of a busy job, a household, and busy social life.
- I don’t want to keep all those balls in the air anymore.
- I now really know that I want it different.
- I just don’t know what yet, but that will come after the crisis.
- I don’t want to go back to my old life.
- I don’t really know how I managed to do that all this time.
In short, all good intentions
Apologies for not doing it NOW.
But now that the intelligent lock-down seems to be behind us for a while. We get more and more freedoms (adjusted) back, the children go back to school, social contact is possible again. It will soon be from the corona crisis NOW, this moment.
But NOW there is a new one soon.
And so our plans continue to shift over time. You want it different, just “When”? And how”? Yes, that is the big question.
Because there is always another reason not to do it NOW (after all).
The summer vacation is coming, in the fall, let’s hope not, there might be a second corona wave. And so on.
As a result, we do nothing. We don’t take action, we don’t make plans, and life ripples on. And we don’t make a decision like that. And not making a decision, and waiting for the right time, is also a decision. Only is that the decision that will help you NOW?
Because NOW is really not THE TIME to take control of your own life. Do what you like and on your terms? Even though you may not know what that looks like yet. Because when is it your time?
And how true are the reasons that hold you back?
And what would it be like for you if you decided that now is your time! To do what you so long for!
Doing is worse than not doing it
It turns out that we often feel more responsible for the things we do than the things we don’t. For example, I read in a column by De Omdenkers last weekend. They described the following trolley thought experiment: suppose a tram rushes towards five people. By pulling a lever, you can direct the tram to another track, where one person is standing. So you can save five people by letting one person die. What are you doing?
Research shows that most people do nothing. People would rather let five people die by doing nothing than do something that will kill one person. Doing is worse than not doing it
And by not doing so, time and your life will slip by.
Your life is getting shorter every day.
So nice and familiar.
Know that if you don’t make a choice and take action, nothing will change and everything will remain the same. And the feeling deep inside that things have to be done differently remains. It is just that ball that you try to keep under water with all your might. But it takes more and more force to keep the ball under water.
And I know better than anyone that staying with the old feels so nice and familiar. I also tried to maintain that for a long time. Bin there, done that. Because let’s be clear, I know exactly what it feels like not to do something. Always postpone the action (s) for you. And not let NOW be the moment. Because yes, what if……
And even now, now that I’ve been making choices from my heart for several years now. Make choices that suit me. I watch out for the moments when I am back on my old familiar “highway” the way of my ego, my head. And the country road of my heart leaves my feeling with cobblestones and bumps and bumps.
Because it is not always nice on the new road. It is unknown, uncomfortable, and sometimes also uncertain. You leave what you know for the unknown. But I do know that I am much happier when I am not on the highway but on the country road of life. The views are much more beautiful. I enjoy the road and it takes me to places that make my life so much more beautiful. And if it turns out not to be the right way, I choose another turn.
You know it! Now is the time.
You already know, there is no better time than NOW.
When you know NOW what you want to do differently. Then do it NOW. Now is the time.
And if you don’t know NOW, get serious about it. So what is it what you want? Because all the answers are within you. You just have to want to listen to it. By feeling instead of being guided by your head with its practical and limiting thoughts. Write, create a mood board, or get started in another creative way. That is a good way to get to your feelings and give your head a rest.
If I had this … then I would now have that …
Because it would be very unfortunate if you later look back on your life and it is a story of If I then had this, then I now….
That’s not what you really want, is it?
So what is it really the time for NOW?
What would you really like to change?
And know it doesn’t have to be big.
It can also be something small. But go do it!
Even if it is exciting.
Let go of that feeling and focus on the feeling it gives you when you are going to do it. Take action. Life is too precious. And regretting things is the worst feeling there is. It will not let you go….
Is it your time now?
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Monique Hauwert is the founder of www.unique.mom ;, a practice for personal development for ambitious mothers to regain control over their own lives from peace and confidence. Click here to download her free e-book “3 Tips for More Peace and Relaxation Without Guilt”.
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