There we have been at home for about 7 weeks with everything that is dear to us, where has my me-time gone. Or in the meantime maybe a little less sweet at times. Because I notice with myself and the mothers that I coach and talk to online that it is still quite a challenge. That it is compulsory for everyone to sit at home and then also get everything done, from homework to home work, from housekeeping to me-time really does not happen automatically. Everything is mixed up. Also in terms of feelings, emotions, expectations and deadlines.
As a mother, it was already important to recharge every now and then. And in the world for us ‘new normal’, that often turned out to be a challenge. But in the “new normal” it turns out to be even more difficult. As a mother you sometimes need it to recharge. But the time for a bit of me-time is often hard to find! And yet it is so important to come to yourself, relax, refuel and then be a nicer mother and partner again. That is why I share 5 tips in this blog to still be able to take that time for yourself.
Those days when …
You probably recognize them; those days when you go crazy for the slightest thing, you can’t have anything from your children, everything comes in so hard, and you’re anything but a nice mother. Those days when your children do not cooperate at all, actually from the moment they get out of bed. And you realize that it is going to be “such a day.” And these are often those days when you have a lot to do and your children demand your attention every minute of the day. Which then causes even more irritation. I especially recognize those days from the period when I did not take care of myself so well and did a lot of willpower, I had no time for myself, no me-time!
And in this time when we are at home together as a family. We are limited in our freedom of movement. There is fear and uncertainty and at the same time expectations are aroused from all sides. For example from school to facilitate home education. To ensure that your child (ren) finish their homework properly. As a mother you also do not want your child (ren) to be delayed. Expectations from your employer. He expects that, despite the fact that you are at home and also have to be a teacher, you do your work properly. That you perform the work at the level and within the time that he or she is used to. In addition, with everything sitting at home, it also demands more from the household in terms of cleaning and the like.
As a mother, you are constantly working to meet expectations, to give the best of yourself, never time for yourself, never even some quality me-time. And the outside world would prefer you to do it all at once. That demands a lot from you. You walk on top of your game and children have a nose for when you feel that way. And that makes them ask a lot of you during this period. Also, because this period is new and exciting and uncertain for them. And we, as adults, cannot offer them any security. Then there are more of those times when the irritation mounts, your children feel and smell that you cannot have much and you are unwillingly not the mother you want to be so badly.
The solution for more me-time?
Every mother knows what the solution is. Step out of the situation and recharge!
Being able to give in to the need to take some time off. Not having to do anything and just being there with yourself. But when you are a mother it is often not easy. Because choosing for yourself makes many mothers feel bad. You don’t do that as a mother, you always have to be there for your children. Choosing for yourself is selfish! Something we sometimes prefer not to admit. But nothing is less true. It is very important to give yourself as a mother some time to relax and recharge. To make time for yourself again. So that afterwards you are a much nicer mother and partner again than if you just keep running and flying on automatic pilot.
But this special period makes it more difficult to find time for yourself. We are limited in our options outside the home. Many of our favorite outings or things to do have disappeared. Yet there are possibilities to create and recharge for yourself for a while.
And share it with you below.
5 tips to recharge. create more me-time!
Charging yourself can already be in very small things, you don’t always have to leave the house. For example, you can read a magazine or a book with a delicious cup of tea or coffee. Or you can take an extensive bath with a lovely bath foam or make a nice bath with magnesium flakes and a few drops of lavender oil. Magnesium helps to relax the body and to sleep better. Or take a lovely walk in the open air. Besides the fact that walking is very healthy, it also lets the pressure off you. The brain can relax while walking. See what you like, what you need at the moment and don’t think too difficult, so quality me-time.
Now that your children and your partner are most likely all at home, it is a good idea to make clear agreements with each other. This way you can go through the day together. What are the things that need to be done and discuss the division of tasks with each other. Also indicate what you have to do and what you need. Indicate how much time you need and also state that you do not want to be disturbed during that period. If your partner also needs time to finish their work, you can agree on the number of minutes that the children should not disturb you. Also discuss what they can do during that time. And make sure they have everything they need on hand. This way you prevent them from coming to you every 5 minutes with a question that is irrelevant in your eyes. And if estimating the time is still too difficult for your children, for example because they cannot watch the clock yet, set an alarm clock. This way they can see how long they have to wait until “your time” is up and they can come back to you.
Allow yourself to rest in the morning
When you get up a little earlier in the morning than your partner and your children you can start up quietly. A quiet start to the day – take a shower, cup of coffee, maybe even meditate and/or journals – gives you the opportunity to really wake up quietly and start the day well. That means that your day starts and runs so differently than when you are immediately drawn into the hustle and bustle of the family because your children are standing next to your bed. Allow yourself that hour or half an hour for yourself every morning.
Do what you like
Give yourself time to pick up something you like! What makes you happy and enjoy, for example a hobby or interest, what you have left behind since you have children or what you have always wanted to do. Start small and adapt it to your current situation. Do not set too high standards for yourself here. It doesn’t have to be perfect and 3 times a week. Because that way you don’t keep it up and don’t contribute to the goal of relaxing and recharging. But you only get the “confirmation” that it is no longer possible now that you have children and are obliged to sit at home. Start without great expectations. Make sure you allow yourself the time and especially the fun and relaxation.
You have to make time for yourself. It is your own responsibility to create and take that moment as well. There is and will always be plenty to do when you have a family. Nothing will change. But there are also tasks, chores and appointments that can wait a while or that your partner or your children can do. As an ambitious, busy mother, combining family, household and work demands a lot of your energy. You also have to get that energy from somewhere, otherwise you will run out. That is why it is so important to know who you are and what makes you happy. What gives you energy! Because you are a much nicer mother and partner when you can relax and recharge by doing the things that really make you happy. And not always be busy with and for the other. Without feeling guilty about it. Because in the end that is so much better for everyone around you.
Did you find these 5 tips valuable? Then I have even more for you. Click here for my valuable e-book with 3 additional tips and a nice weekly planner.
Or make an appointment for a FREE Inspiration meeting (worth € 37.50). So that we can look specifically at your situation and I give you tips and insights.
✨ Be your own UNIQUE self, and shine! ✨
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Monique Hauwert is the founder of www.unique.mom;, a practice for personal development for ambitious mothers to take back control of their own lives from peace and confidence. A free e-book? Download it here to download my free e-book “3 Tips for More Peace and Relaxation Without Guilt”. Connect with Monique on Facebook and Instagram or LinkedIn!
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